oy

Here's what I've learned from having Mark out of town on a gig: I could handle this parenting gig on my own, but I really don't want to. It's been OK... hard, but OK. Our friends have been great, checking in on us and coming over with dinner and giving me a break while I take out the trash or clean up something. Lily has been so clingy lately and I must be in her range of sight at all times... preferably within four feet. She's just having a hard time... missing her daddy and dealing with teeth. She's also on the verge of walking; you can see her mentally planning her path and then she'll kinda start off... only to sit down hard and crawl to her destination. She's able to hover in a standing position for a moment or two, but doesn't yet have the strength or coordination to keep it going.

We went to story time at the Mission Valley Library on Monday and a dad there noticed her standing for a second before she went down and said, "wow, she's about a month away from walking!"

Freaked me out.

Big time.

I'm not ready for her to walk... too bad it's not about me!

Anyway, she's sleeping now and that's a good thing. Managed to clean up the kitchen, eat something and well, type this.

Just to be clear... I LOVE this kid. Parenting is hard, but it's a good kind of hard. A learning kind of hard. A hard that I am willing to accept any day of the week... even when I am tired, haven't showered for days, and downright loopy. She rocks my world, every moment of every day. She's my favorite topic, my saving grace, my first sight in the morning and the last thing I want to gaze upon before I go to sleep. What do I do with all this love?

Ah, just live in it. It's all good.