We’re back from our trip and Cousin Nate and his brood have set off to return to Chicago after a couple of days with us.
Lily is napping and it is quiet for the first time in a LONG time. What an amazing thing.
A lot has happened since last I posted and I know that Allyn will kick my ass if she reads about all this before I talk to her. But that may be the way it goes down.
First, about the trip: we had an awesome time and really enjoyed our time with family and friends. Lily didn't sleep so well with being away from home, so by the middle of our final week Mark looked over at me and quietly said "I'm done." We came home a few days early and then welcomed Nate's family for their visit. We LOVED having them here, their boys are beautiful and wonderful and so full of love. It was great for me to get to know my cousin as an adult... we shared deep conversation and discovered that we are both rather silly.
On the trip, Mark and I talked a lot about what should happen next in our lives. We discovered that we are not quite ready to have another child and that's OK. We discovered that I am not thriving as a stay at home parent and that Mark would like to his hand at it. While in Shasta I received a phone call from my former boss at The Old Globe to inform me that there was a position open that she felt I might be great for. When we arrived home I emailed her my resume and within a few hours I was scheduled for an interview the next day (Friday). I went in and interviewed and was told that they would be making their decision by the end of next week. They called me on Monday and offered me the position. The money is decent, the benefits rock and the best part is that they are totally understanding that I am not interested in working insane hours and that I reserve the right to re-evaluate in six months or so.
While nursing Lil today, I looked down at her sweet little face and her perfect little fingers and I cried at the thought of leaving her. But I know that I will be happier mama if I let her and Mark have their time together and I go back to work. I need it. I love that little girl.
Still haven't figured out what to do about breastfeeding. She's still nursing quite a bit but old enough to start trying goat milk and/or rice milk. I’m not really thrilled about the prospect of pumping… it’s stressful and difficult to fit into a busy schedule. We shall see how it goes. We will continue to nurse as much as she wants when together.
I am so proud of Mark for taking on this unconventional role. I am so thankful that he allowed me to make this decision on my own with the knowledge that it wouldn’t mean having our beautiful daughter raised by strangers.
This may be my last post for a while. With all the adjustments, I just can’t promise that I’ll stick to this. My goal was to blog for the first year of Lil’s life and I’ve already overshot that! Yippee! I’ll do my best, but hey… it’s all good.
Lots of love,