Pick one: me or the junk

We’ve had a pile of junk in our parking lot for a year and a half and yesterday I looked at it, looked at Mark, looked at it, and looked at Mark, and well… kinda snapped. We’re having our big Solstice Party on the 18th and it occurred to me that there was no way in hell Mark could make it go away by then. And I don’t know about you, but when I throw a party I’m not so keen on having a pile of deck debris – complete with rusty nails sticking outta it – available for kids to play on.

“I want it gone by the 18th.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“It will if I say it will.”

“Honey, I don’t have the time to make 500 trips to the dump.”

“Fine, you don’t have to do it then, but I’m going to need the check book.”

“Uh… ok?”

I looked up 1-800-GOT-JUNK and discovered you can book a junk removal online. Brilliant. And hey look! If you pick a preferred time slot (which was the next day) then you get $10 off. Weeeeeee! I booked that bitch. And right now, I’m sitting here eating toasted pumpkin bread while three strapping young men are making it all go away. Is it costly? Yep. Is it worth it? Hell yes. I’d like to stay married to my husband and if this is one of the ways to do it, just tell me who to make the check out to.