This just in

I’m at work today and I just went out to my car to run an errand for work (and to pick up some henna for my locks). As I’m approaching my car, I notice a piece of paper stuck under my windshield wipers. This is never a good thing. Either someone is trying to sell you some crap you don’t want or someone has left you a note about how un-American you are for having a bumper sticker that says “Hatred is not a family value.” I guess to them, hate is something they think of when they think family… poor bastards.

This time the note said:

Hit & Run

Plate # 4UBN658 silver car

We saw hit & run.

Jordan & Shilpi

Their phone number

I walk to the back of my car and sure enough, big ass swipe that clearly wasn’t there when I parked that morning. OK, so it's not huge, but it's not tiny either! The space that the woman tried to get into was a motorcycle spot, clearly marked as such and will not fit a car… unless you hit the innocent vehicle to your right. In this case: ME! I called the woman who witnessed the whole thing and she told me it was some blonde lady talking on a cell phone that hit my car, backed up and DROVE AWAY without a thought. Jordan and her husband thought it best to leave me a note (bless them) and she assured me it would be fine to pass along her information to the police and my insurance. Not that the police are going to really DO anything other than give me a record number to give to my insurance. Doubt they’ll even break a pinky. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll at least write her a ticket. One can only hope.

When I was pregnant with Lily I got hit in a parking lot, but that time I was in the car (rather than blissfully unaware and macking on too many Thin Mints in my office). This happened so close to Lil’s due date that when I dropped off my car for repairs I was pregnant and when I picked it up I had a baby in my arms. Man, did that lady’s insurance JUMP when they realized how pregnant I was. It was funny. I guess this is the universes way of saying, “HEY, get knocked up and we’ll knock your car around!” See? See how the universe can be such a bitch?