My knife toddler and her jews

Lily has started calling me “My.” As soon as I’m out of her sight, she’ll start calling “My? My?” and then when she sees me, she’ll pat my chest and say “My!” Apparently, I am hers. And you know what? I’m down with that. Sometimes she’ll call me “Mine,” just so that there is nothing left to consider. Her language skills are rocking my world. She’s all over the talking gig and while you can’t understand a vast majority of her words, she’s rolling them out like nobody’s business. Mark understands more than I do as he spends more time with her these days. I actually had to make a hysterical call to him the other day to demand he tell me what the hell she had been asking for over and over again for the last twenty minutes. I was at the end of my rope and if I didn't figure out what she wanted was going to go screaming into the canyon.

Some of her latest versions of words you and I should all know (to avoid a trip into the canyon that would frighten even the coyotes):

Booze: her version of “Boof” which is Mark’s word for a fart.

Poon: “Spoon” or “Fork” or any object with which you would shovel food into your mouth and an insanely messy rate.

Cheese: “Please” or, if the conditions are just right, “Cheese”

Bass: “Bath.” Will also work nicely for “Shower”, but don’t even think about trying to rain water down on her head… totally unacceptable. In fact, just keep water away from her head and all is well.

Knife (with a bit of a shhh sound at the end): “Nice” always said while stroking my cheek after she’s just hit me and I’ve told her she needs to be nice.

Jews: “Juice” a word heard about a BILLION times a day. It’s a demand, a question, a statement of fact… Jews rules her world. Seriously.

Bows: "Bubbles" she's insane for bubbles... but only on her own terms. For instance, you can blow bubbles from a wand, but don't make it a bubble bath unless you want her to react as though you've poured acid all over her body. Just a little tip for ya.

Nap: "Snap" as in what she has on her clothing. She'll say "NAP!" with each one you snap together.

Tank poo: “Thank you”

I’d have more for you, but it’s time to give Lily a bass, where she will giggle as she boozes in the water, begs for jews and bows, drinks the bath water from a poon, politely says cheese and tank poo after stroking my cheek and whispering knife just after getting into her jams with the naps.