Happy freaking mother’s day

My daughter has been behaving like a crack addict all day, vacillating between shrieks of joy and smothering everyone with kisses to crying inconsolably at anything and everything. While at my moms I mused, “It must be those molars” to which she replied, “It must be molars making her act like a two-year-old?” Right… she’s almost two! Oh good lord, I have a two-year-old on my hands. Remind me why we thought having another would be a good idea right about now?

And how’s Mark doing you might ask? Mark is freaking out in Mark own special way. See, when he has a lot on his mind he withdraws into himself and becomes all dark and moody. He’s thinking, “Ok, going back to work, new baby coming, gotta get started on the remodel, Lily is a crack addict, etc.” And I am thinking, “What the heck is going on here? Does he not like me anymore? What did I do? Is he mad at me? Am I acting insecure? I’m acting insecure! Well, that’s attractive. Maybe I should eat some ice cream. Lots of ice cream. And chocolate. Yeah, chocolate. Etc.”

It’s a delightful state of affairs to be in.

So yeah, not a totally brilliant mother’s day; I’m sure it could have been worse. I could not be a mother. Worse, I could be all alone, with nobody to love me and without ANY ice cream in this whole house. *Shudder*

Anyone want a purple cow? Yes, please. Thank you very much.