Hi. I’m on a diet! It’s supposed to be helping my self esteem. Instead? It’s make me crazy and annoyed and like I’m just a wee bit insane. Which is just like crazy, by the way. So apparently, I’m fat and redundant. Weeeeee!
OK, strangely enough, this diet isn’t actually making me feel fat. It’s actually given me a bit of perspective. Most of the time, I’m doing really well and recognizing that I actually don’t have that much weight to loose. But it’s also shown me that I eat emotionally and when I’m not allowed to just stuff crappy food in my face I get angry. And bitter. And I curse a whole lot. Tonight I went to help a friend paint her new office. We walked over to Starbucks before we got started and while I really shouldn’t have had a huge sugary cold drink, I did. And it was good. But so full of zoom I got all chatty and random and started getting dizzy. That’s when I realized I hadn’t eaten dinner. So Vickii (the friend) ran next door to get some food. Which I ate too much of and EMOTIONS! They so kicked in. Why couldn’t I just eat a little bit, enough to solve the sugar high and move on? Why must I quickly and obsessively eat it all? WHY DO I DO THIS?
Oh, and THEN? I lost my car keys and felt and overwhelming urge to cry. And curse. And throw things. But luckily the little bastards were found hiding under a couch, so I didn’t have to go full tilt into crazy. But it was there, on the edge, just waiting to suck me under and feed me chocolates and martinis.
All of this will be gone in a few hours, I know. In fact, I’m guessing as soon as I hit publish and go get a tall glass of water I’ll feel better. I know that all this emotional crap is directly linked to a blood sugar imbalance. I know that when I don’t eat right I get just like this. I know it’ll pass. But right now, at this very moment, I don’t know what to do with all this emotional crap.
So I offer it to you. For Pete’s sake, don’t keep it; just throw it away for me. You can do that, right? Dear people living inside my computer, just make it be gone. Kay?