Domesticity report

Housekeeping: While the house isn’t a mess of peanut butter and feathers, it’s not what this panel would describe as “neat” or “tidy.” It is, indeed, average with piles of papers scattered about, kids toys on somewhat hazardous locations, and one rather scary clatter of dishes in the sink. C

Cooking: Out of a total of 21 possible meals a week, Elaine has cooked about seven of them. Points for creativity are awarded though for mircowaving a cake. Turns out that 10 minutes in a microwave safe bowl will produce a beautiful, evenly cooked, delightfully textured cake. The jury is still out on the question if it’s a good idea to have any cake available in this house. B-

Laundry: While the panel would be hesitant to claim Elaine could excel at any domestic task, she does seem to have a handle in this department. Five loads of clothing, sheets, towels and the like have been processed this week as well as the required diaper laundry (two loads). It should be noted, however, that Elaine will not iron a single thing and refuses to even purchase anything that claims to be “dry clean only.” A-

Child care: The baby has been screaming a great deal and the toddler is on a manipulative tear. It is hard to guess who can be blamed for such behavior as the panel acknowledges that children are crazy. Both girls have had one bath this week, are well fed (even if it’s mostly in restaurants) and show no signs of obvious injury or extreme illness (both children do have runny noses). While they are clearly not in any danger in the care of Elaine, the panel would be remiss in their duties if they gave an exceptional grade. B

Spousal care: Fortunately, the spouse in question is largely self sufficient. Elaine must be doing something right if she did, as she claims, receive a spontaneous text message reading, “I love you” today while at the park with the kids. The panel will point out that Elaine’s immediate reaction was to wonder what was broken or wanted. B+

Knitting: the panel is very proud of Elaine as this is a new area of study in which she seems to be excelling. This week showed the start and finish of her first hat, teaching her how to work with both circular and double pointed needles. The hat, made for the younger child, is cute and has surprisingly few mistakes in it. Samples of this work can be viewed here and here. For effort and willingness to learn a new skill, the panel is happy to award an A.

Disposition: This has clearly been a challenging week for Elaine as she has received very few sleep hours. The panel knows better and will, without picking apart the last weeks behavior, simply award an A and avoid the potential bodily harm a lesser grade might invoke. A