A very good friend emailed me in response to my last post and encouraged me to take the trip. Others have flat out asked if I still plan to go (and not one has suggested I don’t). So I wanted you all to know that I do plan to go; I think I really need it. And I do have faith that Mark and Anya can come to some sort of agreement. He's an amazing father and I trust him so completely. AND I begged his mother to come during that time, so he'll have back up. So, it'll be OK. I know it will. That part of my heart that is so intertwined with her? Yeah, THAT part is freaking out on a regular basis. Secretly, I'm hoping it'll be the key to night weaning that I so desperately need. I feel like it's been over four years since I got a decent night sleep, what with pregnancy's and tiny babes and I just need a break so badly, I can't even function at times.
Writing about this stuff really makes it OK. Not only do I get amazingly supportive comments and emails but as soon as I hit publish I feel this weight off my head... like by saying it aloud I have taken away its power.
So thank you. You help me get through each of these moments, even if you don’t ever comment or email. Just by being there and giving me space to release the crap running around in my head, you are helping me. Because of you all, this silly little blog has saved me. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you all.
I promise not to freak out for another month or so. Pinky swear.