kindness and home repairs

Things have been busy 'round these parts.  Last weekend we got most of the new floor put into our bedroom but fell about a box and a half short.  Because we'd purchased everything they had at the ReStore, we had to launch an internet hunt for a couple more boxes or live with an unfinished corner for the rest of our lives (hey, it could happen).  Mark tracked down a couple boxes but we'll need our contractor friend to order them.  For some reason, normal folk ain't allowed. 

The toilet that caused the leak that caused the need for a new floor still needs replacing as well.  Instead of running upstairs in the middle of the night if I wake to pee we're still using it as it was the tank leaking, not the bowl.  In the morning we just bucket flush it, which can be a bit messy and not always successful (she says with a damp pant leg).  It was a shock to discover my husband, the rough and tumble country boy, had no idea how to bucket flush.  I stood there watching him slowly poor a pail into the bowl and asked him what the hell he was doing?  "Bucket flushing!"  Ah, no.  For those of you who don't know a bucket flush requires a bit of physics.  You have to create a sudden and heavy flow of water to get the toilet to actually flush, otherwise you're just filling up the bowl with water and creating a diluted collection of piss.  Not so helpful.  So if you find yourself in a bucket flush situation, dump a lot of water, really fast and hope none of it sloshes (ick).  It'll actually flush just like you pressed the handle.

Anya is doing really well in the land of underwear.  She has her off days for sure, but for the most part I'm feeling confident and so is she.  About every third night she asks to sleep in a diaper but is making it through every nap without a hitch. Yesterday she managed to moisten about five pair of underwear but always made it to the toilet for the main event.  Other days she goes an easy 24 hours without a single drop where it shouldn't.  She's so close, I can see a life with big kids.  Don't think I'll miss having tiny babies, not anymore.  I'm ready and so are they.

Mark and I are struggling at times, tying to find the energy and time to connect on a regular basis.  With me waking so early most days to work and he spending all day, every day working out of the house or repairing this place, we often feel like we're simply coexisting.  And with the transition our girls are going through as they bust into childhood and move away from all things baby, they are a wee bit clingy.  I often feel so touched out by the end of the day I don't want anyone to lay a hand on me.  We turn away from each other when we climb into bed at night only to wake in the middle of the night reaching out and, without knowing who started this party, connecting in the most profound way.  By morning we are confused as to how it all happened, but thrilled and connected and somehow better able to face another day of wild children and work place politics. 

Other changes are coming but I'm not yet ready to talk about or fully trust they'll occur.  Instead I'm saying a silent prayer when I take each breath, hoping that the positive change we've been working for will decide to come our way.  In the meantime, I'm going to get the kindness flowing around me with some love notes for my city a la my lovely soul sisters Krystyn and Jen.  Anyone want to play along?