Ladies (and the odd gentleman), I have come to the conclusion that I really am no longer a SAHM (stay at home mom).
I'm not quite sure how to feel about this adjustment to my life. Mostly it's a good thing but the main problem is that I am working two jobs in addition to mothering all the damn time. That's right, no daycare for the kids mean they often come to work with me if my husband is working or I work from home while wiping noses and butts (not with the same rag... ick). I'm pretty sure that as a WAHM (work at home mom) part of the time and a WOHM (work out of the home mom) another part of the time and a WWKAWWYYIM (work with kids at work with you, you idiot mom) another part of the time I have officially set up the worst of all worlds. Granted, this set up is temporary as my oldest starts Kindergarten in the fall and I should be able to ditch one of the jobs in another couple months. But right now? Yeah.
While discussing this set up with some of the other moms at playgroup today I did make a realization, though. They were all feeling sorry for me and I realized that I don't feel sorry for myself. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's overwhelming. But you know what? It's OK to be here right now. I have had hard jobs in the past but they have been the only thing in my life at the time. To work this hard for so many different areas has shown me how incredibly adept I can be. Add to that the insane belief that it's OK to suffer sometimes and I feel like this is actually an empowering time in my life. I am not, after all, a pretty-pretty princess. instead, I am a mother who is trying to keep my family afloat during a difficult time. And I'm doing it, dammit.
And, just like labor, I know I can do anything if there's an end in sight; even if I don't know when that end will specifically be.
What was the hardest time in your life since becoming a parent? Did you feel that good ol' Dad was right and it "built character" or did it just suck? How much strength did you never knew you had?
cross posted at Work Mom Work