I've been stuck in Introspection Land lately. All these things are happening around me that I should be acknowledging (like Jen's amazing Zine for Africa being on sale this weekend only: see it here and order one, I did!) and people around me that really needed someone to say Happy Mother's Day and yet, I can't seem to get out of my own issues. It's like I've read the manual for proper social interaction and then lost it just as I walked across the boarder for a new country. And the more I know about what I should have done and didn't, I revert to pretending I don't read the language.
I don't really have a reason as to why. I think it has something to do with being primary care on the kids, working in a job that requires way more hours than I can give and having a home that needs too much care. The social stuff (which I need and love) just loses out on brain space.
But I'm trying, I swear. I'm terrible at having relationships outside of established groupings (like playgroup). I really like the women I know because of my kids but so rarely ask to get to know them on a one to one basis. Making BFF's was so mush easier in school. Last week I emailed one of these mamas and invited her over to play with her two kids. We had a lovely time and it was wicked fun to see her get all glassy eyed when I offered to make her a "fancy" lunch. With her toddler and newborn she claimed that she hadn't eaten any beautiful food in a long time. I loved providing it.
And yet, the world is still too big sometimes. I want to be a good mother and a good wife and a good Managing Director and a good friend and all this leads me to daydreams of a life somewhere else with no responsibilities and where I can just... hide. I don't know how to do it all and then the even deeper reality hits me: it's not even THAT MUCH! Most people in the world have at least this much on their plate and seem to do it just fine. I feel like I need to just SHAKE IT OFF.
Or maybe I just need a nap.
How do you balance all the areas of your life?