Mark came home from work today and gave me a bit of news that shifted everything in my world three inches to the left. Sadly, it's something that I can't share here right now, but I still need to work it out a bit, and that's what this blog usually does for me. How do I do that? How do I talk about it and not talk about it all at once? One of the problems of not being anon on this blog is that sometimes the people I need to talk about are reading. And because I respect their privacy and their own need to work through the major crises in their lives, I have to find a way to let a potentially life changing event simply sit. When and if I know that it will actually become a part of our lives, that's when I feel that it's OK to bring it into this part of my life, my little internet home. For now I have to simply contemplate how this event could change things for us and how I feel about it. I also have to accept that it may not change things at all, and that can somehow be sad as well. Which makes NO sense, I know, but then it does. Just trust me on that.
Ultimately, I'm trying to find a way to make sure everyone is OK, which is not my job. But I'm a Virgo and so I think it's my job to hold the world together. Funny that. So we're making contacts and making plans and doing what we need to do to take care of those we love. Because that's what we do.
Speaking of, I spent the day taking care of some friends, which made me feel ridiculously good. My friend's baby is in the NICU and she hasn't had time to get his clothing sorted and put away, what with living at the hospital and spending all her time at home pumping, while also caring for her toddler. So the girls and I went over today while she was at the hospital and went through two bags and three bins of clothing, sorting it all out and putting it away in the dresser we brought over (it had been living in our courtyard for months; we figured it was time to put it to use). Then I folded a couple loads of laundry, let my kids run wild and made lunch. She came home to find us hanging out and me feeling all giddy since I get off on being able to actually help. So often, I feel like there's nothing I can do when troubles hit friends or family and having a solid task to attack makes me feel happy. It was a good morning.
Here's hoping I can make myself giddy with this new challenge. Here's hoping that Mark and I can actually help. In the meantime, can you send over the "everything will work out as it's supposed to" vibes? We could use 'em 'round here.