An open letter to my husband

A woman who feels desired is many things:
She is less likely to reach frustration with
or the children
or the cat
or the dog.
She is more likely to feel like an important part of
your life
and the home you share
and the children you created together.
She is more likely to look at her own body
and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed
since bringing your children into the world,
she is more likely to remember the feel of
your hands on her hips
or trailing down her spine
or the way that you pull her in
and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.
A woman who feels desired
is so much easier to sit across the table from
as she is less likely to be judging
her own skin
her own curves
her own worth
her place in the bed that you share.
She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,
feed it good, whole foods
put it to frequent use in the garden
enjoy the pull of muscle
and increasing strength
as she carries ever-growing children
and becomes more confident with household repairs.
A woman who feels desired will rear children
who see their bodies as perfect works of art
that should be celebrated
and capable of love.

It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
It does not require
expensive jewelery
exotic flowers
pages of poems
romantic dates
or even dramatic words.
You can tell a woman you desire her
with nothing more than a look
a simple touch
a well placed word
and by listening to what she's saying
and then responding appropriately.

Without those simple things
even a strong woman may start to feel
And less leads to
self loathing
bad parenting
and a marriage
that may not last the next five years.

So when your wife asks you,
"Do you find me sexy?"
the answer should never be
a long pause
followed by a apologetic
"I just love you."

Lie to me
if you have to,
but tell me "yes"
and then watch
as my confidence continues
to bloom
and my heart stays open
even when the world
is throwing us curve balls.
Because sometimes,
a woman needs to know she is desired
or she'll start to believe
it is no longer true.